It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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