this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
