i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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