I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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