Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
