I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
