He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
