I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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