put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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