Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
