im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
