I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
