I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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