Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
