My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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