so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
