Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
