I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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