Non-Jews are for practice
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
