He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My breasts were aching with rage.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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