hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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