We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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