wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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