Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
