My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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