I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
two words...techno handjob
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
