dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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