MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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