i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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