bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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