but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Everything about him screamed your future.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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