yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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