shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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