It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
someone owes me an orgasm
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
