Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
