I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
