I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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