ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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