I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
my nose is crying tears of wow.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
