I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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