I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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