My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
