You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
