This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
