i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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