i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
