I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
