Just fell off a train. Bad.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
