after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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