I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
