Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
