i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
