I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
