Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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