Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
why is half of my head shaved?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
