I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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